"Treasuring Obstacles"

I haven't written lately about the treasures in my chest. Every day there is a smile from Leon; a thought, a memory, a time that we spent together. There are sage words of advice and it is because of his letters that I often feel his presence even now.

Today's was particularly meaningful.

"Written by Leon - August, 2008" Obstacles, Suzanne, are a treasure! Did you know that? You taught me that today as you listened to me talk about my concerns, which for an old codger like me, probably seem a bit silly. Afterwards it dawned on me that the very obstacles that worry me are ones that have made you who you are. It is not the end that brings me the angst, but the journey to that destination. I look forward to Heaven's embrace and the celebration I will have with my wife and daughter. It is the time between now and then that hovers around me like a heavy weight. It was your squeeze of my hand and the words you shared next that gave me peace. Do you remember them? "There will be road bumps and detours, Leon, but they'll soon be behind you. I will help you over them. Your friends will help you around them. They will be what gives credence to the gift of today." You help me around and over and through this journey of ours in ways that you will never understand. Instead of self pity, I am now looking for treasures hidden in the midst of my emotions. I am finding them and they bring appreciation to my every breath. It reminds me that the angst is behind me, not in the present and not in the future. It is the treasure that gives me the time to celebrate living fully, and living fully now. My treasure for you today."

This week was interesting and the one ahead sure to be even moreso - I had a blood transfusion on Tuesday, chemo on Thursday. The girls left for a camping trip Friday night and Ronnie and I shared a rare and quiet dinner and evening together. We left for Houston and visited with his brother and sister in law, having been invited by a wonderful friend to watch Jim Belushi and The Sacred Heart Band. It was a fairy tale night!! To meet Jesse in person and put a face to his voice was a huge highlight - a meeting that I will never forget!! As warm and genuine in person as he is on the phone! And the band; well, they were spectacular!! Jim Belushi dazzled the crowd; with complete and total command of the audience. He danced on tabletops and pulled innocent bystanders to the stage. If there is ever a performance that can evaporate cancer....this is the one! I was still awake at 2AM replaying the evening time and again!

Back home now with a day of NASCAR planned.

Monday I have scans and by Tuesday I will know if the game plan will change. I'm anxious to see if the radiation has helped my tumors to shrink and if the chemo is managing to keep the rest of this cancer on steady ground. Wednesday is my stint/drain change. I don't feel fear or even anxiety but instead am enjoying the weekend with the realization that whatever news the results bring that obstacles will soon be behind me - options and hope will appear on the horizon, and for today there is much to enjoy!

Have a great Sunday,
Suzanne